CHRIST'S DIPLOMAT
GREETINGS LOST SOULS.
I HAVE COME TO GET YOU. WHAT I AM PROPOSING TO YOU TODAY IS TO
"TAKE STOCK" OF YOUR ETERNAL LIFE.
MY MISSION:
I WANT 10K/MO IN RETURN FOR SAVING YOUR ETERNAL FUCKING LIFE. THINK OF IT AS A "RETAINER FEE" FOR HIRING THE BEST LAWYER IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. THAT'S RIGHT. THE ONLY ONE WHO FIGHTS FOR YOUR ETERNAL SOUL. IT IS "FREE" TO THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD MY RETAINER FEE. BUT FOR ALL YOU RICH BASTARDS, WHO HAVE "ACCIDENTALLY" PLEDGED YOUR ETERNAL LIFE TO SATAN, 10K/MO IS A PITTANCE FOR WHAT YOU REALLY OWE. OH AND TELL ALL YOUR RICH FRIENDS ABOUT ME. BECAUSE I WANT THEIR 10K/MO TOO.
REPENT NOW!!!
ARE YOU TIRED OF RUNNING?
Are you tired of Satan and his schemes? Do you want to spend eternity with Jesus and God in Heaven?
Then you need to turn AWAY from your sins, REPENT, and ask for forgiveness FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SOUL!
(And sin NO MORE!) Get on your knees and BEG the sinner's prayer into your heart until you understand it FULLY. And you EMBODY IT. Utter the following words into your heart with humility:
